I am a 62-year-old former smoker who was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in February 2021. My tumor was large and resting very close to my aortic artery, and it was inoperable.

This was the height of COVID-19. I had coughed up blood, so I went to the emergency room. My husband was not allowed back with me. After all the tests, a physician assistant came in and said, “You have a large tumor in your top left lung. It’s probably cancer. I’m sure you’re not surprised, since you used to smoke.”

That was tough. Calling my husband was tougher. He was not allowed to be with me. We cried over the phone together. How I wished he was there to hug me. Little did he know he would be charged with my care for the next almost three years.

I was transferred by ambulance at 3 a.m. to UH Cleveland Medical Center. It was cold and snowing. I would spend the next six days in the hospital having blood work, X-rays, CT scans, MRI scans, a biopsy, cardio monitoring, and positron emission tomography (PET) scans.

Finally, I could hug my husband. I was allowed one visitor. Next up was telling our kids and my 92-year-old mother.

I was anxious to get started on treatment and was considering joining a trial. A new MRI of my brain was necessary, along with a needle biopsy of the tumor. My lung collapsed after the procedure, and it was discovered that I had three small lesions on my brain. This disqualified me from the trial and staged my cancer at stage 4.

My oncologist asked if I was ready. She wanted to treat my cancer aggressively. I did four rounds of cisplatin, pemetrexed, and pembrolizumab (Keytruda). During that time, I had 6 1/2 weeks of radiation and gamma knife radiation on the lesions on my brain.

In August, I had a bad reaction to Keytruda. I developed pneumonitis and sepsis and spent five days in the hospital on antibiotics and steroids. I remained on steroids for six months. The side effects of long-term steroid use are horrible. I couldn’t sleep, and the anxiety was very difficult to deal with. My face blew up, and the skin on my arms and hands started bruising very easily. The skin issue remains two years later.

The cough I had from the pneumonitis continued to get worse. I was up at night coughing. Many rounds of antibiotics were not working. My tumor was shrinking but left a hole in my lung that collected bacteria. I had seven bronchoscopies to clean out my lungs and take cultures. I spent seven days in the hospital in November 2021 on IV antibiotics. The condition would clear up and come back.

Eventually, I was referred to a thoracic surgeon to see if I was a candidate for surgery. The plan was to take muscle from under my arm and use it to close the hole in my lung. It was too risky to remove the lobe.

I had the surgery. The surgeon made a large incision in my side up to under my arm. I had drainage tubes in after surgery, but they weren’t working properly. I had to go back to surgery to have them adjusted. I went home still coughing and on oxygen. Two weeks later, I was back in the hospital.

This time there was no choice. The lobe had to come out. I had last rites, and my husband and I discussed my funeral plans. By God’s grace, I made it through the surgery.

Next came Clostridium difficile (C. diff). It was not a fun time for sure, but I made it through. The surgeon had to open my previous incision and made it longer by going up around my shoulder. A section of rib and the top of my left lung were removed. I had three chest tubes.

I went home after a week and started physical therapy at home. It was a painfully long road of recovery. My husband had to help me shower and took over all my responsibilities. He became my caretaker as we tried to support each other emotionally through this tough journey.

Today, almost three years later, I have been off chemo for nine months and am feeling good. My scans have been stable. I am so blessed to be here and trying to enjoy every day.

Cancer takes so much of ourselves away. It controls our lives. Trying to keep normalcy among all this is hard but necessary. I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m not going to let cancer control me anymore. I’m living my life.

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