This is a question I get asked a lot regarding my lung cancer: Do the boys know, and how are they handling it?

From the beginning, my husband, Bryan, and I decided to hold off on telling them. I wanted to have as much information as possible before their lives completely changed. Bryan and I wanted to make sure that the treatment was working and that we had a plan.

In the beginning, we did let their schools know. My reasoning was that even if we hadn’t officially told them, kids are smart. I was constantly going to doctors’ appointments, getting scans, and crying. The boys knew something was going on but not the extent.

Bryan and I didn’t have a “plan” on how to tell the kids. But right before baseball season started, I became afraid that someone at practice or a game would ask me how I was doing and the kids would overhear. I wanted them to find out from Bryan and me. At the same time, I wanted them to have a support system in place when we told them. It’s something that no parent ever wants to tell their 5- and 8-year-olds, but it had to be done.

I’ll never forget: Bryan and I were upstairs folding and putting away laundry. I called the boys up and told them we needed to talk. I explained that I had been seeing a lot of doctors because I hadn’t felt well. The doctors found out I had cancer, but they found a pill that would help me.

We didn’t explain what type of cancer I had or what stage I was. I didn’t want to overwhelm them and felt that when they were ready, they would ask.

I asked if they had any questions. Both boys sat quietly for a minute. I explained that the doctors were following me, and I had scans every couple of months.

Trent said he didn’t want to know when my scans were because he would worry too much. Baelor looked to Trent for a reaction. Trent wasn’t sure how to react.

We made sure to let them know that they had support wherever they went. Both schools knew what was going on and completely wrapped their love and support around the boys. The boys were excited about a trip to see my nephews in a play the following weekend, and we let them know that their cousins were always available to talk.

The kids come up with random questions and at random times. Baelor has been fixated on death and who is going to die first. The other day he had an especially needy day. I tried to assure him I wasn’t going anywhere. He looked at me with a straight face and said, “You won’t be when you are underground.”

I try to keep the kids’ schools and friends’ parents updated. Trent asked that I not tell his baseball coaches because it makes people look at him differently.

I get it kid, I really do. And Mommy is so sorry!

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